Just another Valentine’s day

A fictituous story by Moumita Adhikary.

Ema woke up late only to find it’s a bright Sunday with a dull face again. She wished she could sleep the rest of the day and night too to skip the dullness but she couldn’t. This is 2016. Ema is twenty-eight year old now. Ema can’t remember any Valentine day in last twenty-eight year that she ever liked as almost all were dull for her, Off course, that is not Ema’s only agony. However she has served as agony aunt over the years and remains tired by quite sometime by now.

Ema is neither a political leader nor a great achiever of her time. Not even any specific point of authority that she has to live with a rulebook of a few known or unknown ones. Ema is a protagonist of herself as she finds afew to be her protagonist.

Ema is survived by a single parent. Her mother passed away sometime back. Ema stays with her father. Ema has little knowledge when would she never require coffee a day.

This is not new for Ema. Ema is living for more than two decades by now only to go some place. Ema is not sure what place! One thing is for sure – Ema wishes to live somewhere her father is not around. Ema has missed so much in life for sake of her dislike(s) that she doesn’t feel sorry why she doesn’t have any man in her life today or anytime in the past. Ema likes her father but the fact that he is around her even today and guess more! A father and daughter can’t get separated in India, that’s the only reason Ema has adapted herself all the time or what she considers as compromise her life and may be more through year.

Does that sound Ema is weird?

Well, for Ema, it is more weird that she doesn’t have the freedom to go to places or stay and live without her father mostly. What age could help Ema live her adult life? In India, anyone is adult at 18 or 21year and that is the time when anyone starts to participate in election by casting vote, not sure of rules for any election contestant. Leave that, Ema is no election contestant and is never going to be, she is too tiny to be one of a kind of that.

Many of them doesn’t like Ema’s such behavioural pattern. Ask Ema’s father about her, firstly he discourages his daughter in person and publicly. Unfortunately, Ema’s father is not a well wisher for her career and life since her mother passed away. Death of a kin brings consequences. Many have been promised by Ema’s father that he wants his daughter to get married off. He searches for grooms as if he is gay wanting to marry a male in matrimonial columns of newspapers or in locality or in nearby place(s) so that Ema must be available to curse at even after her wedding. Ema was never asked to choose a groom for her and the only primary reason she rejects any possible groom specially if it is nearby home or in close acquaintance(s) with her father.

Ema has soured up little more which should not have happened for better. Ema avoids to work with anyone who is well acquainted with her father. She even skips many a time staying in touch with friends or anyone whenever her father pokes into it. Ema doesn’t like nowadays her some kind of brothers too as her father pours his all possible affection to them which Ema must have wished for once and her father have been aware of that. Few instances depict Ema is right, she didn’t receive from her father what she wished for but her some kind of brother(s) did/does.

Ema knows dimensions of all houses in many places. Ema had longed for an apartment for her and may be family if they agree to it. Ema lacks funds to own her own house. Ema still doesn’t inherit any property I mean house or apartment or whatever. Ema have longed for the same for more than five year by now. Living in one’s own apartment and may be death too – Ema can’t think of anything more contending in life. Now that she doesn’t own one, she pretends as if she didn’t want to own an apartment or house, car, etc. Lest she can say to her attitude to this as ‘Grapes are sour’ she keeps herself delighted with different perspectives at different times and also let that be known to anyone when asked so that they are also delighted like her.

Ema is twenty eight year old. Ema was said a big negative for higher education by her father. However, Ema still browses through education opportunities for Masters that she still can’t afford even with bank loans. It’s painful to do so, however less painful to browse pictures of near and dear ones whom Ema miss in her life all because of her father. Ema is not married. Ema is jobless. Ema doesn’t miss her last job as things were no less worse for her then. Ema used to work nearby her home where her father would frequently visit every now and then just to poke into freedom of her life leaving her ill mother alone at home. Ema’s mother died out of some illness they say, however, Ema doesn’t understand anytime how to cure her father who is more ill in his mind through year. Ema’s mother was kind of a shield for her from her father as she always believed so. Now that Ema’s mother is not there, Ema has thin chunces for survival. This doesn’t sound well, however this is so damn true, Ema was treated in such manner by her father and more that she doesn’t have her work too soon after her mother passed away. Ema is too poor to afford a stay outside home. Ema fights for her basic rights while staying at home, that’s how she is busy hence obviously Ema is yet to get any job. Ema indulges more and more into meditation to stay happy as she can’t afford anything she wants to have due to lack of funds. Money talks. Seek money and the path for a forceful wedding is shown to her. Nowadays Ema’s father is of opinion to drain riches and requisites to his son-in-law instead of taking care of Ema’s basic needs too. Ema has always been against dowry system in a wedding. Ema remembers her mother told her many a time that her mother was tortured by a few specially an aunt(father’s youngest sister) for not bringing dowry(land,40 tola gold,cash) on her wedding. It was time when Ema was not born. It stretched to extents like Ema’s uncle(mother’s brother-like neighbour) brought Ema’s grandfather’s letter to her mother once soon after her wedding, and Ema’s mother was insulted in front of her that brother. Soon after that uncle had left that day, her aunt(father’s youngest sister) poured kerosene over Ema’s mother’s body and was almost about to lit up with matchsticks, Ema’s mother had managed to run out of the house till the front gate, a few neighbour was horrified to see that situation. It was Ema’s grandmother who had saved a massacre and a life that day. That uncle of Ema lives nearby their hometown for work but has never dared to visit Ema’s home anytime. Ema was too little when she started to hear about all this from her mother. Ema had seen her maternal relatives in stress quite a number of time when she was younger and reality matched to what her mother used to say to Ema’s wonder.

Not only this, Ema’s mother was blessed with light skin tone and natural red lips. This was when Ema’s mother was newly wed before Ema was born, Ema’s aunt(father’s youngest sister) used to touch her mother’s lips, cheeks and eyebrows without consent within the house and would do a commentary on her expert make-up test report just to check if she was naturally beautiful or have put some make-up. Ema does not know if her aunt was Lesbian however the fact that her mother was a victim of physical abuse as well. Ema had not seen her aunt(father’s youngest sister) visiting her the then kind of happy nuclear family and home till the day her mother’s dead body was brought to their home. Ema did not like that aunt(father’s youngest sister) giving the same flower to her mother’s dead body as tribute that Ema gave plucking from their rooftop garden. Ema did not know whether making a chaos could be more of a solace to her while her mother’s dead body was lying at the floor of her the then room. Ema did not like the close proximity of that aunt(father’s youngest sister) to her mother’s dead body, probably anothereason why she put some white crème over the lips of her mother’s dead body lest that aunt probably would touch her mother’s red lips again even though it was a dead body. Ema’s maternal relatives still had not dared to pay a last visit to her mother’s dead body for exactly what reason Ema does not know. Ema could not cry staring at her mother’s dead body. Ema has visited many temples recently however she still can’t forget that she could not touch her mother’s feet one last time when the dead body was brought home as the dead body’s feet and most part of the body was wrapped with cotton strangely not feasible to uncover even the feet though her mother did not have any skin disease in her last days.

In short, what Ema understands is that this is the way of her father to not give her freedom as well as anything to inherit. Ema believes she could be as good as an orphan, not all only daughters are as happy as they believed. Ema lives shorter day by day just to fight against any forceful wedding. Well, that’s not true at all. Ema is tired of fights. She doesn’t care anymore. Ema can marry anyone if forced and then consequences must be obvious – Ema has decided by now.

Ema’s parents did not marry at their will or Ema thought so. Ema’s grandmother saw her mother in some wedding function and sent a wedding proposal for her son and Ema’s mother. Ema’s father nodded affirmative without talking to Ema’s mother on that and Ema’s mother had little choice to raise her opinion the then days. Ema doesn’t like to stick any anonymous name to her mother or father may be that’s why she mentions them less. The consequences of that wedding have been remarkable on Ema’s maternal relatives as well as paternal relatives and more people. A divorce that never happened and quite some number of year life has changed. Not any or all relations were/are born forcefully unlike Ema’s parent’s wedding. Ema has lost her mother and is an example of child from a broken home. Statistics say 80% of homes are broken families in some countries. Ema has always made attempts that she doesn’t breed another broken home through her wedding without her consent. Ema is not sure how far she can fight to not contribute to any such 80% in any country she lives.

Ema didn’t have the good fortune of divorced parents which could help her to get separated from her father. Ema had taken care of her mother’s jewellery since childhood as her only possession. Now Ema doesn’t find those with her anymore. No sooner Ema’s mother died, in some days Ema was shocked to find the jewellery were not there in place in her knowledge, Ema sought after a lot and remained silent on this only to find her own bought silver jewellery too were gone. Today in time of sorrow, Ema has understood well she is in real crisis now, she doesn’t even have all those jewellery to maintain her living for sometime and get separated from her father. Ema could do a police complaint but she did not out of gratitude that her father has payed her bills for so long. However, that was not the end of it, once Ema was afraid of so many knifes that her father keeps at home. One morning Ema wake up to find a portion of hairs on her legs were shaved hopefully with some sharp thing. She searched and found few hair stuck on a butcher kept in her father’s room. She could complaint where she didn’t know – police would ask for proof and the one Ema witnessed at home was not enough to lodge any police complaint. Ema pretended to be normal with a dire hope within heart to get rid of her father sooner. Ema understands her father did not want her mother or her. That’s a primary reason her father has not made any property yet so that he doesn’t have to give anything to Ema’s mother or her. Once Ema broke her silence to go to some city to search job, Ema did not get permission or financial aid for that. Ema understands her father wants her to wear out. Ema is not new to comments that depict she is worthless for work. Ema gets myriads of prank and blank calls everyday in the name of job interview calls, Ema believes her father has contribution to that. She can get her phone calls traced but that won’t be help. Ema has got used to this kind of mental rapes that she faces everyday through fake job interview calls.

Ema becomes sad and she remembers last time when she saw her mother lying almost half dead on a hospital bed. It was another Sunday evening. Ema still doesn’t like the fact that one of her father’s colleague who visited her mother that evening after her, with his father did not disclose at her father’s office or other colleagues or anyone that he went there that day. Ema’s father used to mix with that bachelor often even in public gladly even after her mother passed away. Ema stared at that guy once rudely at their home while her mother’s last rites days and that was news spread out like fire but the fact that the same guy was the last two visitors to her mother at hospital before her death. Somehow it’s hard for Ema to believe that her mother died a natural death. Ema thought her mother would be home may be in time which never happened. Ema’s mother’s funeral had nobody from her maternal relatives or any of her personal invites. A tearing life and a wicked father to accept, Ema doesn’t know how to get rid of both or if she ever can!

Once Ema was home and she got fever. Her father brought out the faulty thermometer from a cupboard. There was two thermometers at home Ema knew. Where was the another one that was in working condition Ema had last known! Ema’s father brought a new thermometer to check her fever. Her father looked caring enough to take a reading by putting the new thermometer inside her mouth. Ema kept wondering had possibly could have happened with the other working thermometer in their home earlier. Ema has become little cynic after her mother’s death. Ema did not let her father put that thermometer into her mouth, she put it inside on her own instead. Sometimes Ema doesn’t like that she imagined at a while that the other thermometer was a possible cause of her mother’s death, may be a cerebral attack due to Mercury poisoning followed by many a thing. Ema is neither a physician nor such imagination of hers has got proofs or witnesses. Ema should stop such imaginations. Ema believes Ema is the only one who doubts reason of her mother’s death hence is not much liked by many ones after her mother’s death. Deaths happen when it has to happen. One day, Ema will also die so will any/all readers of this story. Ema needs to gain back the bad or good habit of blind faith again at least for sake of her peace of mind.

It is 3:30pm. Nowadays, Ema counts hour in a day like an old one counts his last days. Ema knows she is not so lucky that her last day in life would be so soon. This 14th February shall pass, the sooner the better. Ema is home with heap of buried pasts that history won’t ignore. They say today is a present. Today is Valentine’s day with a present Ema bought for her – a red cloth thing. Ema knew this Valentine’s day won’t be different for her. Ema chose to give a treat to herself – nowadays a few does this to Ema, not even her father.

Ema won’t be dating anyone this V-day evening like last twenty seven Valentine’s day in her life like many and unlike many. That pleases her father and some more rather than Ema actually doing well in her life. Another truth Ema has always believed is that no mutual romantic interest was bold enough to ask Ema for a date/relationship and go for it with mutual consent. Time has taken away so much from Ema that she bothers less nowadays about many a thing. By the way, don’t be so bothered about any Ema. Had Ema passed away instead of her mother, many more facts could have been buried possibly with a different kind of funeral and reality. Ema doesn’t wonder if God mis-personed a death but smiles at this thought. Ema remembers that her mother was too depressed(recognised) to come out of it for next several years when her aunt passed away at her age of nine. Passing away of mother brings grief that any Ema has to cope up to move on and so shall anyone else. It is a Valentine’s day, it could be any other day as well. It is better everyone lives their rest of life/lives as they please for sake of….Ok, Ema doesn’t need to say it all. Time flies. Everyone has got their own life/lives. Nobody should suffer any bitterness even if any Ema is yet to be happier at some corner of the world.

With some more hour left this day, Ema needs to wrap up her vent as soon as she can to rush for some sort called work which is actually non-work with her father. Ema doesn’t mind any fun made of her as she thinks she is a deserving one. She fail so far to live a life as independent as not staying with her father.

Now that this sounds little immatured to many of the blessed ones, many known and unknown Ema wishes they stay blessed and never has to undergo what Ema had to live or lives. With gliding Sun, all and any Ema would live or live(s) for the way s/he wishes.

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